"24" or "Boston Hunt"
Late last night I went to the gym. I knew it was late and I didn't want to go, but truth is truth and rule #19 is hard to live by, so I went. I was on the streets running back home AT THE SAME TIME the MIT shooting occurred. I live too close to comfort to the scene, so to cope, I convinced myself it didn't mean much and was not connected (only that the world had gone crazy with violence) and I just kept on with my night routine. University emails told me that MIT campus was on lockdown and that a shooting had occurred. So, I expected this to be resolved by morning.
It's early april, and I've been trying to get up earlier with varied success. So when I woke up on my own at 6:30 am, I also realized I hadn't been woken in the middle of the night by an "all clear" message. Within seconds, I was on the internet and found that not only was the MIT shooting related to the marathon bombing suspects - but it was them who did it, and that now, not only MIT was in danger, but that many universities were closed for the day. Not only were universities closed but also Watertown and Newton and Allston-Brighton and Waltham and Cambridge and finally ALL OF BOSTON was on lockdown (or as they called it "shelter-in-place"). It was only in the morning as I read of the fatal and explosive shootout in Watertown, I realized not only was I SUPER wrong but that also things had escalated quickly over the course of only a mediocre night's sleep. I moved from my bed around 9 am when they started talking about an intersection in my daily commute. I ran into my roommates bed. She was sleeping but all I could say was "ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh" in one breath. Stirring she wondered what was going on, and when she finally woke up a little, she told me she had stayed up until 2 am keeping up with the news and briefed me on what had happened. We stayed in her bed until noon, all the while Watertown filling up with military and SWAT. I kept on saying I was going to eat breakfast, kept on thinking I would get out of my pajamas for the work meeting I thought I was going to skype into. Nope. Didn't.
At one point there was a shootout at a house over in Watertown and a man came out and we thought it was the suspect that they were looking for. I was really bothered when it was not and it was someone else. I couldn't stop watching. At some point I had pancakes, and kept listening and watching the news.* There was going to be a controlled detonation of explosives near their apartment, which would have been felt in my neighborhood. Luckily there was no need for this to happen (no explosives).
By the time they started sweeping Watertown, I wondered where this guy had gone and where was he, and how had they lost him. There was going to be a news conference at 4:30 pm which kept getting pushed farther and farther and farther back. I knew he was lost by then. When they did finally give the news briefing, they said the lockdown was lifted, and they didn't know where the "armed and dangerous" man was. We were to be "vigilant" but we were free to do the things we needed to do.
Great. I didn't really feel safe after watching news reports for almost 12 hours knowing now that he was on the loose. I had to flip over my laundry and didn't feel safe going into the basement of my own house. I really wanted a roommate to come with me, because in reality I knew I was safe, but there was this little bit of doubt telling me "what if?" There was this part of me that said, they are letting people roam about because they can't find him, and although Boston is law abiding (almost everyone took the lockdown super seriously) we are also strong and resilient and I figured they figured that even though people might get hurt, he'd be easier to find if he were trying to move through a living city with 1 million eyes looking for him instead of the (albeit rather large police force) of 10,000.
So, committing myself to trying to cope with uncertainty (see how often it shows up?) I still decided to stay in even though I was allowed to roam. I was shocked when my roommate told me only a few minutes later that some hashtag or other was blowing up on twitter and that there was something going down in Watertown. And there it was - the final stand off. A man had found his boat tarp ripped and went over to investigate (what did I tell you, Bostonians have zero fear) and found a bloody body inside and immediately called the police. What then ensued felt like a movie complete with robots, helicopters, flash-bangs and negotiation units. I kept on hoping and wishing and praying that he would come alive. I wanted him to be alive. There were reports he had a suicide vest, and I didn't think so because he'd have already used it, and why would he try to light the boat on fire if he had a vest anyway? Finally, finally, they took the suspect into custody. Boston cheered and boston cried, and I laughed at the tweets that said something like "this better be solved by 10 pm, or every episode of 24 was a lie" because they had done it. Case solved (timeline here).
I admitted to my roommates that I was glad they had got him but I also admitted that I hoped that even though he had caused a whole city to mourn and a whole country to hurt, that I hoped that he would be treated as a person when they questioned him. Who knows the motives and reasoning, but in listening to all the evidence for almost 24 hours, it just seemed that they would be able to work with him better if they respected his humanity. Even at their worst, criminals are human and should be treated that way. I was afraid to say these things out loud and am afraid to write them here, because I want justice just as much as anyone else, but I also realize that hurt doesn't erase hurt and vengeance only leaves a bad taste. It will be interesting how this plays out, but no matter how, I will not tolerate inhumane demands against this suspect's humanity or wild speculation about whole groups of people or religions or what this means to various political platforms or worst of all conspiracies that only cast doubt and spread seeds of distrust.
As a good friend posted early on in all of this "love is greater than fear" which is so true, and so timely, and so needed by everyone.
Even with him in custody, I was a nervous to go to the store to get fresh air and groceries and being outside felt eerie. My heart was up in my throat, and I admitted as much to my roommate who was being decidedly #bostonstrong. But I stood by my feelings, and then had ice cream and oreos for dinner. I must not be truly Bostonian because this whole thing actually did scare me. It's too close to where I live. I think I had felt safe after the Boston Marathon bombings because it seemed like an isolated incident and experience had taught me that the perpetrators would be miles away by the time they found them. But they weren't, they were near my neighborhood. This goes against what I believe about human character. Someone said something to the effect of, "well this will just happen more often now" and out of everything that has been said, that has been one of the more harmful. Shutting down a city maybe was not necessary, but it took Boston from Monday to Friday to figure this out. Four days is a much shorter time than the time it took to figure out a situation like this previously. I will admit there is more apprehension in me now and I will be resilient and will do what needs to be done - but it might take a while before I feel like I'm totally safe again. I don't think I felt this way on 9/11. I was in Utah. The events were scary then and didn't make sense, but it wasn't happening in my backyard. This. This is something totally different. And it's scary and it's real, and it's outside my window and helicopters above my house. They aren't there anymore, but that is how today was. And I and Boston, well, we will recover and how? Well, I honestly don't know. But, I'm going to try to love.
As hard as I possibly can.
*At some point I was checked in with from family and friends and relatives. Thank you to all the email and messages that I received. It was comforting to know you were thinking of me.
It's early april, and I've been trying to get up earlier with varied success. So when I woke up on my own at 6:30 am, I also realized I hadn't been woken in the middle of the night by an "all clear" message. Within seconds, I was on the internet and found that not only was the MIT shooting related to the marathon bombing suspects - but it was them who did it, and that now, not only MIT was in danger, but that many universities were closed for the day. Not only were universities closed but also Watertown and Newton and Allston-Brighton and Waltham and Cambridge and finally ALL OF BOSTON was on lockdown (or as they called it "shelter-in-place"). It was only in the morning as I read of the fatal and explosive shootout in Watertown, I realized not only was I SUPER wrong but that also things had escalated quickly over the course of only a mediocre night's sleep. I moved from my bed around 9 am when they started talking about an intersection in my daily commute. I ran into my roommates bed. She was sleeping but all I could say was "ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh" in one breath. Stirring she wondered what was going on, and when she finally woke up a little, she told me she had stayed up until 2 am keeping up with the news and briefed me on what had happened. We stayed in her bed until noon, all the while Watertown filling up with military and SWAT. I kept on saying I was going to eat breakfast, kept on thinking I would get out of my pajamas for the work meeting I thought I was going to skype into. Nope. Didn't.
At one point there was a shootout at a house over in Watertown and a man came out and we thought it was the suspect that they were looking for. I was really bothered when it was not and it was someone else. I couldn't stop watching. At some point I had pancakes, and kept listening and watching the news.* There was going to be a controlled detonation of explosives near their apartment, which would have been felt in my neighborhood. Luckily there was no need for this to happen (no explosives).
By the time they started sweeping Watertown, I wondered where this guy had gone and where was he, and how had they lost him. There was going to be a news conference at 4:30 pm which kept getting pushed farther and farther and farther back. I knew he was lost by then. When they did finally give the news briefing, they said the lockdown was lifted, and they didn't know where the "armed and dangerous" man was. We were to be "vigilant" but we were free to do the things we needed to do.
Great. I didn't really feel safe after watching news reports for almost 12 hours knowing now that he was on the loose. I had to flip over my laundry and didn't feel safe going into the basement of my own house. I really wanted a roommate to come with me, because in reality I knew I was safe, but there was this little bit of doubt telling me "what if?" There was this part of me that said, they are letting people roam about because they can't find him, and although Boston is law abiding (almost everyone took the lockdown super seriously) we are also strong and resilient and I figured they figured that even though people might get hurt, he'd be easier to find if he were trying to move through a living city with 1 million eyes looking for him instead of the (albeit rather large police force) of 10,000.
So, committing myself to trying to cope with uncertainty (see how often it shows up?) I still decided to stay in even though I was allowed to roam. I was shocked when my roommate told me only a few minutes later that some hashtag or other was blowing up on twitter and that there was something going down in Watertown. And there it was - the final stand off. A man had found his boat tarp ripped and went over to investigate (what did I tell you, Bostonians have zero fear) and found a bloody body inside and immediately called the police. What then ensued felt like a movie complete with robots, helicopters, flash-bangs and negotiation units. I kept on hoping and wishing and praying that he would come alive. I wanted him to be alive. There were reports he had a suicide vest, and I didn't think so because he'd have already used it, and why would he try to light the boat on fire if he had a vest anyway? Finally, finally, they took the suspect into custody. Boston cheered and boston cried, and I laughed at the tweets that said something like "this better be solved by 10 pm, or every episode of 24 was a lie" because they had done it. Case solved (timeline here).
I admitted to my roommates that I was glad they had got him but I also admitted that I hoped that even though he had caused a whole city to mourn and a whole country to hurt, that I hoped that he would be treated as a person when they questioned him. Who knows the motives and reasoning, but in listening to all the evidence for almost 24 hours, it just seemed that they would be able to work with him better if they respected his humanity. Even at their worst, criminals are human and should be treated that way. I was afraid to say these things out loud and am afraid to write them here, because I want justice just as much as anyone else, but I also realize that hurt doesn't erase hurt and vengeance only leaves a bad taste. It will be interesting how this plays out, but no matter how, I will not tolerate inhumane demands against this suspect's humanity or wild speculation about whole groups of people or religions or what this means to various political platforms or worst of all conspiracies that only cast doubt and spread seeds of distrust.
As a good friend posted early on in all of this "love is greater than fear" which is so true, and so timely, and so needed by everyone.
Even with him in custody, I was a nervous to go to the store to get fresh air and groceries and being outside felt eerie. My heart was up in my throat, and I admitted as much to my roommate who was being decidedly #bostonstrong. But I stood by my feelings, and then had ice cream and oreos for dinner. I must not be truly Bostonian because this whole thing actually did scare me. It's too close to where I live. I think I had felt safe after the Boston Marathon bombings because it seemed like an isolated incident and experience had taught me that the perpetrators would be miles away by the time they found them. But they weren't, they were near my neighborhood. This goes against what I believe about human character. Someone said something to the effect of, "well this will just happen more often now" and out of everything that has been said, that has been one of the more harmful. Shutting down a city maybe was not necessary, but it took Boston from Monday to Friday to figure this out. Four days is a much shorter time than the time it took to figure out a situation like this previously. I will admit there is more apprehension in me now and I will be resilient and will do what needs to be done - but it might take a while before I feel like I'm totally safe again. I don't think I felt this way on 9/11. I was in Utah. The events were scary then and didn't make sense, but it wasn't happening in my backyard. This. This is something totally different. And it's scary and it's real, and it's outside my window and helicopters above my house. They aren't there anymore, but that is how today was. And I and Boston, well, we will recover and how? Well, I honestly don't know. But, I'm going to try to love.
As hard as I possibly can.
*At some point I was checked in with from family and friends and relatives. Thank you to all the email and messages that I received. It was comforting to know you were thinking of me.
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