Without a Map
I'm what would technically be called a first generation college graduate. This means that I maneuvered much of my education without a map. My parents were SO INCREDIBLY SUPPORTIVE the whole way, and still are. There are things you just don't know to think about though when you have no map. Such as what college is like and how it's different from high school, what to major in and why and how to think about what you want to do with your life as a consequence of that major, work/school/life balance, living away from home and making friends in a whole new academic social scene, extracurricular-what? etc. I'd always been a little more non-traditional in my paths compared to my other siblings even as a teen, but I think college really marked the beginning of true unknown.
For me, I knew there was no way to get to college without money, so I went to the one that enticed me with scholarships and then eventually ended up at different college closer to home with a better academic program for my desired major. I flourished in this environment, found, exploited and enjoyed my extracurricular activities, studied my coursework and non-traditional classes for a female from my culture. I was one of 6 female chemical engineers out of our class of about 40. There's a shirt I read once which said "the odds are good, but the goods are odd" which about sums up that experience.
From there, at the fork between a $$$ and more education, I veered toward graduate school. I think I kept thinking that I would figure something out if other options came along, but they didn't so I kept going. I kept going so long on course, that I have now graduated twice over and now, I'm at a point where a change of plans seems to rock my world harder than it's ever been rocked and I find myself afraid to figure.
There's a friend of mine that frequently talks about feminism. Her argument speaks of narratives, and how there isn't a diversity of stories for those that take the less traveled roads.
I too am a searcher for stories. As much as I can tell myself that I can do it without a map, and have been for a long time, sometimes it's comforting to hear it from someone else who's lived it before you embark on the unknown. I've decided those stories don't get written because, maybe there isn't enough drama to talk about in "making it work" somewhere in between the two known extremes that's worth mentioning. Or maybe it's way too much for those living it to have much time for anything else, but not enough drama to be looking for an escape to find a different drama somewhere else. It seems maybe it's enough to desperately try to keep ahold of what they have. Doing it as best as they can without a map.
Making choices out of desperation is never the answer though. For me, it seems that just when I've reached the end of one journey at the fork in the road, I often will take the less obvious road (see about at $$$ vs more school). So, even when it seems that the road ahead is totally foreign - and there will be no narratives, realizing that you've come this far without a map and have done just fine means that continuing on will probably be similar.
For me, I knew there was no way to get to college without money, so I went to the one that enticed me with scholarships and then eventually ended up at different college closer to home with a better academic program for my desired major. I flourished in this environment, found, exploited and enjoyed my extracurricular activities, studied my coursework and non-traditional classes for a female from my culture. I was one of 6 female chemical engineers out of our class of about 40. There's a shirt I read once which said "the odds are good, but the goods are odd" which about sums up that experience.
From there, at the fork between a $$$ and more education, I veered toward graduate school. I think I kept thinking that I would figure something out if other options came along, but they didn't so I kept going. I kept going so long on course, that I have now graduated twice over and now, I'm at a point where a change of plans seems to rock my world harder than it's ever been rocked and I find myself afraid to figure.
There's a friend of mine that frequently talks about feminism. Her argument speaks of narratives, and how there isn't a diversity of stories for those that take the less traveled roads.
I too am a searcher for stories. As much as I can tell myself that I can do it without a map, and have been for a long time, sometimes it's comforting to hear it from someone else who's lived it before you embark on the unknown. I've decided those stories don't get written because, maybe there isn't enough drama to talk about in "making it work" somewhere in between the two known extremes that's worth mentioning. Or maybe it's way too much for those living it to have much time for anything else, but not enough drama to be looking for an escape to find a different drama somewhere else. It seems maybe it's enough to desperately try to keep ahold of what they have. Doing it as best as they can without a map.
Making choices out of desperation is never the answer though. For me, it seems that just when I've reached the end of one journey at the fork in the road, I often will take the less obvious road (see about at $$$ vs more school). So, even when it seems that the road ahead is totally foreign - and there will be no narratives, realizing that you've come this far without a map and have done just fine means that continuing on will probably be similar.
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