Being a Peacemaker
I spoke in church on Sunday. I was asked to address the following topic. Since this was one of the first times I have ever written out word for word what I was going to say, I'm including it here. I stuck to it pretty well I think, although, I don't think I read it but I can't really remember. It's ironic that the day after I gave this talk, I had a run-in with a co-worker and lost all my sense of peace. So, I have a lot to work on still. Speaking on a church topic, does not make you an expert, or at least I am certainly far from it!
Striving to be Peacemakers by following the Example of Christ
Before I begin my talk about being a peacemaker, it may be helpful to describe a little about myself. I was born in California. We all moved to Utah when I was fairly young and stayed so long that now I claim Utah as home, and more specifically, Draper UT. I moved to Michigan to pursue study of organic chemistry, and I’m more than halfway through my PhD, if one can really claim to be halfway through an uncertain timeline. Organic chemistry seems to be the chemistry subject that most people have very strong opinions about – and most people will tell me about their opinion and how it formed, whether in a lab, lecture, from a book, or en route to their current profession. I too sometimes feel overwhelmed by the amount of material that I have to know in the field of organic chemistry, especially when new information is being published so very quickly. This requires a high amount of efficiency on my part and I spend a lot of my day checking off lists and maximizing every moment, so it made me smile when a close friend remarked on how very inefficient I was at preparing for this talk. What she doesn’t know, is that I am not very efficient when I do not know how to begin an activity for which I feel ill-experienced to carry out. Such is the case with striving to be a peacemaker.
So often in my life I have to remind myself to be a peacemaker. I think that for many of us, especially myself, often it is easier to invoke some kind of drama in our lives. It is sometimes easier to blame others for their wrongdoings instead of ourselves. This was specifically the case when I was in my tweens and sharing a room with my sister who is 4 years my junior. There was so little understanding on my part, so much criticism and unjust expectations. I even divided the room down the middle like on TV shows – that must have happened after an episode of Full House or something. It was awful, and we were not friends. Striving to be a peacemaker would have been a much needed blessing to my parents who were dealing with the needs and quarrels of 6 kids from age 13 to 4. So what could I have done differently? What can we all do when we are striving to be peacemakers?
To be a peacemaker, we have to put off the natural tendency to fault someone else instead of ourselves for the conflict. We have to desire the long term benefits of peace that come with not participating in idle gossip, criticism and the proliferation of drama that comes from exacerbating different points of view, or expectations. Elder Franklin D. Richards has promised us that being peacemakers will bring added blessings of “offsetting the evil of contention, envy, and jealousy.”[1] We truly must desire the blessings that come with being a peacemaker; which we learn from the Sermon on the Mount is to be called the children of God.
Later in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus Christ asks us, and all those who wish to be called his disciples, to
“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you, that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven[2].”
From this scripture we learn that not only is it enough to love our neighbors and our friends but also to remember to be at peace with those that we are at odds with. This often requires us to have enough faith in our Savior’s love for us, and that in our surety of his love for us, we are enabled to extend that love to those that we may not think deserve it. Because even in the act of withholding our love from our enemies we are judging and making decisions that are not for us to decide. We must remember that we have been taught to,
“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged.[3]”
Furthermore, of criticism and judgment President Eyring has said that if we are to be unified, one of the ways is to,
“Speak well of each other. Think of the last time you were asked what you thought about how someone else was doing in your family or in the Church. Now, there are times we must judge others. Sometimes we are required to pronounce such judgments. But more often we can make a choice.[4]”
Herein we are reminded that so often we can choose to speak warmly about others who are are acquaintances, friends, and family. Instead of putting out unnecessary fault-finding or judgement, we can speak about the good things we find in others.
If we read a little bit further in the scripture about loving our enemies and giving good when we are sometimes receiving evil, it says of our Father in heaven that:
“He maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye?2”
Our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ know that the harder path to follow is to love all of our neighbors and enemies. Greater blessings of peace will come into our lives if we really try to extend peace towards those who are making trouble for us. If we are truly desirous to be called children of God, we must learn to be like him, in extending our love to everyone. One of the ways we can remember to love everyone is by remembering these words of the Savior,
“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.”[5]
This is often referred to as the golden rule. A favorite little rhyme I associate with the golden rule comes from a play called My Turn on Earth. In this particular song they sing that:
“The golden rule is a terrific tool, to help you decide what to do. And did you know – though it doesn’t show, there’s a golden rule inside of you? It says do unto others as you would have others do to you!”
Sometimes, in order to really decide how we would want others to behave towards us, we have to invest the time to really understand the situation, and to be considerate and unselfish. Coming back to the topic of being a peacemaker by following the example of Christ, we read of many times in the scriptures, when our Savior had others striving to start an argument or conflict. There was never a time when he yielded to the buffetings of his enemies. From the scriptures we read that he “knew their thoughts,” and therefore could understand where they were coming from and deal with the circumstances accordingly. Because of his understanding of their intentions, there was no need for contention. For us, the only way to know the intents of others is to really put time into understanding, or to have the spirit with us to be able to discern what the problem might be.
How much easier would it have been to share a room with my sister, had I realized how different we were in age and ability and therefore have had different expectations in the situation. In any situation where there is enough love to really seek understanding from both sides about an issue, this will help us to be better equipped to be peacemakers. President Eyring spoke of another way to be a peacemaker. He states that,
“One way I have seen it done is to search for anything on which we agree. To be that peacemaker, you need to have the simple faith that as children of God, with all our differences, it is likely that in a strong position we take, there will be elements of truth. The great peacemaker, the restorer of unity, is the one who finds a way to help people see the truth they share. That truth they share is always greater and more important to them than their differences. You can help yourself and others to see that common ground if you ask for help from God and then act. He will answer your prayer to help restore peace, as He has mine.[6]”
Even with all this logic about being a peacemaker, President Eyring reminds us that we must have the spirit with us when approaching situations where we need an access to the peace of God. Pleading with our Father in Heaven daily through prayer to have a constant companionship of the Holy Ghost will provide us with the strength to stay positive and charitable in the face of contention.
Elder Theodore Burton describes that
“Whenever you get red in the face, whenever you raise your voice, whenever you get “hot under the collar,” or angry, rebellious, or negative in spirit, then know that the Spirit of God is leaving you and the spirit of Satan is beginning to take over. At times we may feel justified in arguing or fighting for truth by contentious words and actions. Do not be deceived. Satan would rather have you contend for evil if he could, but he rejoices when we contend with one another even when we think we are doing it in the cause of righteousness. He knows and recognizes the self-destructive nature of contention under any guise. You can recognize the Spirit of Christ within you when you speak to one another or speak of another person with a warm smile instead of with a frown or scowl[7].”
This contention of thinking that we are right and justified in our criticism, or our entitlement of judgment is exactly the trap that I had fallen into when I was younger. It has taken many years to get out of that trap. There are still instances and occasions when sometimes I think all of us can fall back into a justification of our actions. But even when in the act of feeling so “right,” we have lost the spirit or the ability to be a peacemaker. Only when we are feeling a good relationship with our Heavenly Father and Savior, and really trying to follow the example that he set of settling arguments with out hot-headed responses or emotional explosions, only then can we really be a peacemaker. My younger sister and I have learned to understand each other, and I have learned to be considerate and more loving. Due to these changes in the way I have approached our relationship, I am happy to report that we are best friends. That often we can find peace despite any differences of opinion, and even share hotel rooms when the occasion requires it.
This is what we need more of, the love of Christ helping us to help each other to be unified as children of God.
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