Hot Dogs
Somehow I think my pandora stations either a) think I really like whole, healthy foods or b) think that I love grilling. Regardless of the algorithm that programmed that as my preferences, the applegate hot dog commercials are, in my opinion, just propaganda against chemicals.* That being the case, even if a) or b) were correct, the outcome of hearing the commercials is always annoying, and when i'm in a bad mood, it is simply offensive.
Here's my problem: they read off chemicals in the hot dogs and then there are two options for slander. The first being, "the chemicals are so bad you could use them as swear words" followed by yelling the words in cussing intonations. The second take on it, is that "if you play them backwards, this is what you hear" followed by some sinister, what I imagine to be a goopy slime monster, saying "I can't believe they eat this stuff (insert evil laugh here)."
But, Dr. K, aren't the chemicals that they are reading off bad? I mean surely there should not be such chemicals in our hotdogs??
No. No. and No.
Granted, there may be some that are bad, but let me introduce you to a few of my favorite selected "bad" chemicals in your hot dogs according to applegate.
1) ascorbic acid: a naturally occurring molecule that metabolizes to vitamin C. its claim to fame is that it is the compound attributed to getting rid of scurvy for sailors. it is naturally found in citrus. why is it in your food? preservative. also, check out that sweet organic chemical structure: a five membered ring, dangling alcohol groups hanging off with stereospecificity; it doesn't get much better.
2) sodium diacetate: the salt form of vinegar. it is added to enhance flavor and is also a preservative. i don't have much more to say, it is vinegar - not too exciting. i worked with acetic acid (the "unofficial" chemical name of vinegar) in graduate school.
3) dextrose: a form of glucose, or a sugar found in grapes. obviously it is used for flavoring. it is so uninteresting, that it doesn't have it's own wiki page. it's just another form of sugar.
In my opinion, there are not a lot of these pumped into your non-applegate hotdogs, but enough that they had to be listed by the FDA. However, these do not make your hotdogs bad or less "whole" because these chemicals are found IN ALMOST EVERYTHING THAT IS PREPACKAGED THAT YOU EAT. They are in your cereal, in your soup, in your vitamins, in your bread, in your orange juice, in your condiments you are putting on your hot dogs. And, for the most part, it is ok. They are not harming us because most of them, especially the above-mentioned ones, are naturally occurring or derivative salts of things that are already foods. These chemicals are not the enemy. CHEMICALS ARE NOT THE ENEMY. It is not cool to spread fear and misgivings about chemistry. Most people I meet fall into two camps, the "hey-chemistry-was-a-cool/fun-class" group or the "chemistry-was-and-still-is-the-worst" group and I think more of them are in the latter. In this great marketing ploy by applegate for people to eat healthier (and by healthier, please remember here that we are talking about HOT DOGS), the strategy is to draw on people's fear of the actual scientific names of chemical compounds in order for them to switch hot dog brands. (Because, guess what, Oscar Meyer was always just trying to kill you with chemically evil hot dogs...)
I find this enraging. Please, if you know me, and trust me, please have the good sense to not buy in to the "chemistry is the bad guy" or "science is the enemy" mindset that this company is choosing to proliferate. Feel free to buy their hot dogs because they taste better, or whatever, but know that they are simply using different preservatives, or preparing them in a way that they don't have to add the chemicals. I haven't got my hand on a package yet to decipher what is being used instead. I'm skeptical.
and now, because you have made it through this post...a link to hot dog legs. Are they hot dogs or are they legs?
*The video commercials are a little bit less offensive, so if you use your favorite search engine verb (google vs. bing) to "applegate hot dogs" and find the one about steroids and growth hormones, rest assured that I can somewhat get behind the "badness" of those. The steroids and hormones in our food is a different topic entirely. It's the radio commercials that I can't stand.
Here's my problem: they read off chemicals in the hot dogs and then there are two options for slander. The first being, "the chemicals are so bad you could use them as swear words" followed by yelling the words in cussing intonations. The second take on it, is that "if you play them backwards, this is what you hear" followed by some sinister, what I imagine to be a goopy slime monster, saying "I can't believe they eat this stuff (insert evil laugh here)."
But, Dr. K, aren't the chemicals that they are reading off bad? I mean surely there should not be such chemicals in our hotdogs??
No. No. and No.
Granted, there may be some that are bad, but let me introduce you to a few of my favorite selected "bad" chemicals in your hot dogs according to applegate.
1) ascorbic acid: a naturally occurring molecule that metabolizes to vitamin C. its claim to fame is that it is the compound attributed to getting rid of scurvy for sailors. it is naturally found in citrus. why is it in your food? preservative. also, check out that sweet organic chemical structure: a five membered ring, dangling alcohol groups hanging off with stereospecificity; it doesn't get much better.
2) sodium diacetate: the salt form of vinegar. it is added to enhance flavor and is also a preservative. i don't have much more to say, it is vinegar - not too exciting. i worked with acetic acid (the "unofficial" chemical name of vinegar) in graduate school.
3) dextrose: a form of glucose, or a sugar found in grapes. obviously it is used for flavoring. it is so uninteresting, that it doesn't have it's own wiki page. it's just another form of sugar.
In my opinion, there are not a lot of these pumped into your non-applegate hotdogs, but enough that they had to be listed by the FDA. However, these do not make your hotdogs bad or less "whole" because these chemicals are found IN ALMOST EVERYTHING THAT IS PREPACKAGED THAT YOU EAT. They are in your cereal, in your soup, in your vitamins, in your bread, in your orange juice, in your condiments you are putting on your hot dogs. And, for the most part, it is ok. They are not harming us because most of them, especially the above-mentioned ones, are naturally occurring or derivative salts of things that are already foods. These chemicals are not the enemy. CHEMICALS ARE NOT THE ENEMY. It is not cool to spread fear and misgivings about chemistry. Most people I meet fall into two camps, the "hey-chemistry-was-a-cool/fun-class" group or the "chemistry-was-and-still-is-the-worst" group and I think more of them are in the latter. In this great marketing ploy by applegate for people to eat healthier (and by healthier, please remember here that we are talking about HOT DOGS), the strategy is to draw on people's fear of the actual scientific names of chemical compounds in order for them to switch hot dog brands. (Because, guess what, Oscar Meyer was always just trying to kill you with chemically evil hot dogs...)
I find this enraging. Please, if you know me, and trust me, please have the good sense to not buy in to the "chemistry is the bad guy" or "science is the enemy" mindset that this company is choosing to proliferate. Feel free to buy their hot dogs because they taste better, or whatever, but know that they are simply using different preservatives, or preparing them in a way that they don't have to add the chemicals. I haven't got my hand on a package yet to decipher what is being used instead. I'm skeptical.
and now, because you have made it through this post...a link to hot dog legs. Are they hot dogs or are they legs?
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| http://hot-dog-legs.tumblr.com/ mmmm. i think hot dogs... |
*The video commercials are a little bit less offensive, so if you use your favorite search engine verb (google vs. bing) to "applegate hot dogs" and find the one about steroids and growth hormones, rest assured that I can somewhat get behind the "badness" of those. The steroids and hormones in our food is a different topic entirely. It's the radio commercials that I can't stand.
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