Broad Brushstrokes

One of the lovely things about new friends is that you get to retell your stories. This can also be somewhat murky, especially when they ask you all the questions new people like to ask you such as "what do you do?", "how does that apply to real life?" and my favorite "what are you going to do when you are done?"

Feeling like you have a purpose in life, I think, comes somewhat from having an idea of what you want to contribute. (I believe I read that somewhere once.) The point being, that I answer the question of "what are  you going to do when you are done?" with the sentiment of what matters more is what broadly I want my mission and purpose to be. Remember uncertainty? There is so much of that in life that picking a very specific job for myself and then not getting those exact specifics was just setting up a bad outcome. So I brush-stroked it. When I talk about what I want to do, I think of it in terms of what and where I want to spend my energy making a difference. I know the salary that I need for living and I know what kind of work environment I need to feel smart and motivated and still in control and balance of my personal life. Is there only one job that fits those terms? No way; there are at least three or more. 

When I think about my life this way, answering that question of "what do you want to do?" feels better. It also feels more open-ended, which, in all honesty, does add stress because it would be nice to just pick one thing and have the confidence to know that THAT was EXACTLY what I wanted to do and was best suited for. However, I am no longer operating in only black and white, because it continues to not serve me well. There is a large operable gray area that requires self-discipline, but also allows for more compassion and understanding and love than I have when I am only operating in black and white. 

So, final say on this from what I've learned: brushstroke your occupation goals. Recognize and believe that things will change and that you may not only have one job for your whole life, HOWEVER, get to that first job, and then be willing to keep learning and searching for opportunities that move you inside the boundaries of that brushstroke.