Kendall Band Flirt
Someday, I will be embarrassed for telling this story and also for finding so much joy in it.
Deep breath.
But today,
is not that day.
It was morning. I was off to the T again to charge up my charlie-card on my way to work. It was a slow post-9 am rush and I had just barely missed the train. A fellow youngish professional looking future passenger had also just missed the train and was passing the time playing with the chimes of the Kendall Band (here for description) and not doing it quite so right.
I think it was a combination of this article in the New York Times about "How Not to Be Alone" and a meet-up with the missionaries over lunch the day before that persuaded me to not be a stranger to this fellow.
From the article: "It is harder to intervene than not to, but it is vastly harder to choose to do either than to retreat into the scrolling names of one's contact list, or whatever one's favorite iDistraction happens to be. Technology celebrates connectedness, but encourages retreat."
I trust myself enough to realize when conversation is unwanted, so I commented on his chime methodology and demonstrated how it worked. I then asked where he was off to. Somehow I got from him that he had just gotten out of an internship interview. I asked where, and being familiar with Biotech companies, I then asked how it went. We continued to talk all the way to Harvard station.
This is where I will pause and say, this guy was great. Not unordinary or ordinary, but genuine and excited about how his interview had gone, which I genuinely congratulated him on. He was willing to tell me all about how Nitrogen is his favorite element and because I have a favorite of my own, I was delighted to hear it. That led for me to laugh and say "of course it is" when he said the band he played in was dubbed "hydrazine" (a molecule of triple nitrogen). I think I was generally impressed, surprised, and delighted with how easy it was to not hide behind my own technology and actually pay attention to what was going on in this guy's life. And I think he was a bit surprised as well.
The story only gets better.
My general interest and friendliness led to an invitation to get coffee sometime, at which point, with the missionaries still in my head, I blurted out, "uh, I don't drink coffee" at which he fumbled something like "well then, some other liquidy thing that you drink" at which I said, "sure." Best part? You know that space in between getting a person's information and pulling out phones and things?
I have business cards.
That's right. I rarely ever use them, in fact this is the first time I have ever used one for this purpose, but oh, for that purpose they served beautifully. "Dr." "Research Scientist" and "I love transition metals" with all the pertinent information. Yep. Truly nerdy, true to self, and delightfully handy just for this situation.
However, I think he did call. I don't know that he will call again, but maybe I have friends that he may get along with better. This is why I tell this story though:
a) I think "How Not to Be Alone" had some good points about how common courtesy to strangers is becoming a lost thing. It doesn't necessarily need to be lost.
From the article again: "We are creatures of memory more than reminders, of love more than likes. Being attentive to the needs of others might not be the point of life, but it is the work of life. It can be messy, and painful, and almost impossibly difficult. But it is not something we give. It is what we get in exchange for having to die."
I love that. Being attentive to the needs of others is the work of life. Yep.
b) I have business cards. I felt like I was being scripted out of a movie (a meet-cute if you will) and in that moment, I was very grown-up.
Deep breath.
But today,
is not that day.
It was morning. I was off to the T again to charge up my charlie-card on my way to work. It was a slow post-9 am rush and I had just barely missed the train. A fellow youngish professional looking future passenger had also just missed the train and was passing the time playing with the chimes of the Kendall Band (here for description) and not doing it quite so right.
I think it was a combination of this article in the New York Times about "How Not to Be Alone" and a meet-up with the missionaries over lunch the day before that persuaded me to not be a stranger to this fellow.
From the article: "It is harder to intervene than not to, but it is vastly harder to choose to do either than to retreat into the scrolling names of one's contact list, or whatever one's favorite iDistraction happens to be. Technology celebrates connectedness, but encourages retreat."
I trust myself enough to realize when conversation is unwanted, so I commented on his chime methodology and demonstrated how it worked. I then asked where he was off to. Somehow I got from him that he had just gotten out of an internship interview. I asked where, and being familiar with Biotech companies, I then asked how it went. We continued to talk all the way to Harvard station.
This is where I will pause and say, this guy was great. Not unordinary or ordinary, but genuine and excited about how his interview had gone, which I genuinely congratulated him on. He was willing to tell me all about how Nitrogen is his favorite element and because I have a favorite of my own, I was delighted to hear it. That led for me to laugh and say "of course it is" when he said the band he played in was dubbed "hydrazine" (a molecule of triple nitrogen). I think I was generally impressed, surprised, and delighted with how easy it was to not hide behind my own technology and actually pay attention to what was going on in this guy's life. And I think he was a bit surprised as well.
The story only gets better.
My general interest and friendliness led to an invitation to get coffee sometime, at which point, with the missionaries still in my head, I blurted out, "uh, I don't drink coffee" at which he fumbled something like "well then, some other liquidy thing that you drink" at which I said, "sure." Best part? You know that space in between getting a person's information and pulling out phones and things?
I have business cards.
That's right. I rarely ever use them, in fact this is the first time I have ever used one for this purpose, but oh, for that purpose they served beautifully. "Dr." "Research Scientist" and "I love transition metals" with all the pertinent information. Yep. Truly nerdy, true to self, and delightfully handy just for this situation.
However, I think he did call. I don't know that he will call again, but maybe I have friends that he may get along with better. This is why I tell this story though:
a) I think "How Not to Be Alone" had some good points about how common courtesy to strangers is becoming a lost thing. It doesn't necessarily need to be lost.
From the article again: "We are creatures of memory more than reminders, of love more than likes. Being attentive to the needs of others might not be the point of life, but it is the work of life. It can be messy, and painful, and almost impossibly difficult. But it is not something we give. It is what we get in exchange for having to die."
I love that. Being attentive to the needs of others is the work of life. Yep.
b) I have business cards. I felt like I was being scripted out of a movie (a meet-cute if you will) and in that moment, I was very grown-up.
Comments
I've really been enjoying your blog!