And All Shall Be Well*

"What we call the beginning is often the end

And to make an end is to make a beginning.

The end is where we start from."

Life cannot be predicted, and my beginnings and endings are often completely different from what I expect. My sweet grandmother passed away last year around this time. Often, I still have moments when I need a map; I have so many questions that I wish I could ask. Questions about things going different from how you thought, and how to keep positive and optimistic, and how to not need all the answers, and how to give of yourself even when it may seem impossible. My Grandma had these answers, lived these answers, and I miss her.

"We die with the dying:

See, they depart, and we go with them.

We are born with the dead:

See, they return, and bring us with them."

Poetry sometimes helps us realize things we didn't know. "We die with the dying;" I feel it when I miss my Grandma, or when I can tell that my Mom misses her. But we are also born again with the dead because as we reflect on their lives, sometimes we see ours differently. My understanding of who I am and who I can be, pieced from my interactions with her is no longer possible. But, as I think about her life, and remember how she lived and what she did, I understand me with new perspective.

I went to a Lutheran Easter Vigil. Readings were followed by a Response and then a Prayer. We went from the Creation, to Moses, Jonah, Meshach, Shadrach and Abednego, Daniel, and Isaiah. "They return, and bring us with them." These stories remind me of humanity and how very much need there is for a Savior. Miracles, chastisement, faith, bravery, prophecy; They remind me of how hard it is to be patient and how infinite the three day wait seemed until the day of resurrection. It is not only me that struggles with uncertainty; this is a human thing. Easter becomes a time to remember and be grateful for an atonement made so that my humanity (which I exhibit all too often) is mercifully dealt with and I too can be redeemed. Spring and Easter, when all things become new and renewed, I can find the answers I need from the memories I have and the stories that are told. And eventually, I can compare my answers with the source, because Families can be Together Forever and I think my grandma will laugh when I see her again and we compare our lives. I think she'll give me one of those side hugs that were always just right and tease me for being so stubborn in thinking I knew it all when I was younger and she was still around.

"and all shall be well and

all manner of thing shall be well"

Happy Easter

The quoted parts are from the last stanza of the last quartet of T.S. Eliot's The Four Quartets which I am currently in love with. I am not just in love with the last quartet. No, I am in love with the whole thing.

*This title reminds me of this song by the Gabe Dixon Band "All Will Be Well"