The wearing and not wearing of pants

Some things require a little bit of mention, even if late and out of season.

The entire week prior to the Sunday of our Christmas program, my roommate and I had had numerous conversations about what to wear. There was a call to action to wear pants to church in support of a discussion about gender inequality.

This is what I will say:

I wore pants because I wanted to support my sisters that did feel marginalized, ostracized or belittled for feeling differently about their beliefs.
I wore pants because there is a solidarity I feel for those who struggle to come to church because of those feelings.
I wore pants because of the death threats and self-righteous indignation being tossed about because of the proposal.
I wore pants because of all the people who thought that dresses were only considered sunday best for women.
I wore pants because there really isn't another good way I saw to bring attention to this issue since most of the higher leadership positions are male.

I didn't wear pants because some of the things of protest, were not something I believed were cultural and were probably divinely appointed.
I didn't wear pants because revelation is the only thing that will change church policy for some of the things that were being protested.
I didn't wear pants because the sacrament and worship of the Lord should be the focus of my sabbath worship and not taking a political stance - albeit on a very important issue.
I didn't wear pants because even though it started out as something very peaceful and not attention seeking, what it became and it felt like was a fight.

To me, this wasn't about wearing or not wearing pants. This ended up being about love and conflict and how it is handled. For many of the members and interactions I read about, this was not handled with love and understanding - instead there was acting out of fear instead of compassion. Truth will always be truth. Extension of love through actions of compassion and vulnerability and understanding will be far better than denial and exclusion. The only person I know of to ever "teach a lesson" perfectly is Jesus Christ. Everyone else just has to try to do their best with all the experiential knowledge they have. Looking forward, I hope I can remember this and act accordingly.

Comments

Melanie Carbine said…
As for the things that are not cultural: We have the Word of Wisdom because Emma asked Joseph to ask about it. The priesthood was extended to all worthy men because Kimball saw what was happening in Brazill and he ASKED. It's not wrong to ask that modern revelation be sought after.

As for the protest: Unless I'm carrying signs, distributing literation, or running around in ghost/ghost buster costumes during sacrament meeting, I don't feel very disruptive.

Very well-organized post. You're right. Even now, it needed to be said.
6:36 AM
k nelle said…
Well said reminder about the principle of purposeful questions to receive revelation. I love that principle of the gospel!

As for disruption, obviously there is not going to be running around in costume or signs or flyering, and this kind of dramatization from either side discounts the feelings of frustration and isolation and increase defensiveness that come with what surrounded the issue. To me, those feelings of conflict were disruption enough.
9:59 AM
Cheeky Candid Contemplations said…
I appreciate the way you stated your feelings for both side. I want to support anyone who feels belittled especially if they feel that when at church but didn't feel that wearing pants would help them feel included on a long term basis. I was saddened by the way many people reacted on both sides of the issue. It helped me to remember to purpose I go to church and look for ways to show others love and acceptence.

I have renewed my efforts to reach out to individuals and let them know that I am glad when I get to associate with them at church and they are welcome.
12:53 PM
Blissful Deviations said…
Very well put. These points were muddled in my head that entire week and you hit what I was thinking right on the nose.
2:29 PM
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