Self-fulfilled Titles
I (re)started this blog sometime in the middle of grad school. Importing a few of my notes from facebook (remember when that was a feature people used?), makes my blog seem to have started back in 2005, but it didn't. It really started in 2008.
I don't remember what it was named when I first started it, but I wrote about it in this entry (here) when I changed the title. Since the name change, I can look back and see that the title as prophesied has been fulfilled. In many ways, I had an affair on large parts of my life with Chemistry. As with any affair, it's left a little regret as I feel like I wish I'd balanced a little more, or been more upfront with the rest of my life about our having a more open relationship than what was expected. Furthermore, now that my chemical education is over, I'm trying to grasp the thought of no longer having an affair, and just living life, and even when I try, I'm still submerged in other hobbies.
So, I guess, I won't rename the blog just yet, as I'm still reeling from my affair. The repercussions of being in denial about the rest of your life for such a long sustained period are deep and come in unexpected towering waves. I'm unraveling the pieces and putting them back together. It's weird to think that in 2008 I decided that I was going to totally embrace the graduate school transformation, and become a Chemist I did. Like it or not, it's so totally part of my fabric, (and blankets and shower curtains, and coffee mugs, and towels for that matter).
I think that most affairs change your identity. I imagine this is why it's so hard to return to "normal" life the way it was before. I know I can't go back, but can I try to reach equilibrium somewhere? I feel totally out of balance.
I don't remember what it was named when I first started it, but I wrote about it in this entry (here) when I changed the title. Since the name change, I can look back and see that the title as prophesied has been fulfilled. In many ways, I had an affair on large parts of my life with Chemistry. As with any affair, it's left a little regret as I feel like I wish I'd balanced a little more, or been more upfront with the rest of my life about our having a more open relationship than what was expected. Furthermore, now that my chemical education is over, I'm trying to grasp the thought of no longer having an affair, and just living life, and even when I try, I'm still submerged in other hobbies.
So, I guess, I won't rename the blog just yet, as I'm still reeling from my affair. The repercussions of being in denial about the rest of your life for such a long sustained period are deep and come in unexpected towering waves. I'm unraveling the pieces and putting them back together. It's weird to think that in 2008 I decided that I was going to totally embrace the graduate school transformation, and become a Chemist I did. Like it or not, it's so totally part of my fabric, (and blankets and shower curtains, and coffee mugs, and towels for that matter).
I think that most affairs change your identity. I imagine this is why it's so hard to return to "normal" life the way it was before. I know I can't go back, but can I try to reach equilibrium somewhere? I feel totally out of balance.
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