Mother's Day
In church, members of our congregation are asked to give talks about various topics. I gave a talk in 2009 (link) and today, I was asked to give a talk about the Righteous Influence of Women (based on "LDS Women are Incredible"). I didn't write it out word for word and was so nervous that I changed most of the wording as I spoke. Some of it will be different, but the message will be the same:
I sometimes stop and think about how much of who I am and who I've become is influenced by my family, and since it's mother's day, I'll focus on the influence of my mom and other "mothers" in my life.
In the talk "LDS women are incredible" Elder Cook said "God placed within women divine qualities of strength, virtue, love and the willingness to sacrifice to raise future generations of his spirit children." Even if we don't feel like we have these qualities now, I think we can rest assured that these qualities can be cultivated within all of us. I also think that all of us need those attributes in our lives. Today I'm going to focus on a few of these.
The first is strength. I was recently talking to a friend who had moved to a new ward and was finding it difficult to find good friends and people she was connecting to. I related to my friend a story about my mom. She was always very busy and didn't have time to go to things like enrichment or book groups, having very little time for herself she found it really difficult to find friends in the wards that she was in. It says a lot about her strength in the gospel as she kept going to church, kept being faithful even when feeling a sense of isolation and loneliness. It's a hard thing to do, to reach outside of yourself even in times when you feel like you need to be reached. Another example of this kind of strength comes from a woman in the ward who reached out to me when I first moved here. I remember feeling nervous, and overwhelmed. But there this woman was, offering me rides to church, inviting me to dinner parties, looking out for me when I needed it most. At this time in our lives, we may not think about improving these abilities, but we can do so as we strengthen each other and keep that strength within ourselves.
In the scriptures it reads "Wherefore be faithful...succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees."
We are all needed to do these things, for each other, today. We strengthen this divine quality in ourselves when we put it into practice.
Other instances when this faith is required is when we are faced with imperfections in family life. I'm sure we've all had experiences of a beloved family member falling to illness, or passing away, or of a family member forgetting or failing to choose the right. I know that when these experiences have happened in my life, my mom was often a pillar of strength. I'm not saying that she fully embraced these challenges, but with hope and optimism it is from her that I learned that nothing is too hard, no trial too overwhelming that couldn't be addressed with these six words:
"Everything is going to be ok."
This is what I still live by since the alternative doesn't make any sense to me. That is the strength of a righteous mother to instill in her children that there is a divine plan for us and that all things will work together for our good. To have watched my mom live by that, gives me courage to do the same.
Speaking about this happy optimistic spirit of my mom leads me to touch on the divine quality of virtue.
Virtue is seeking after the good things, the things that will bring us joy. Being virtuous makes us more qualified to receive the companionship of the Holy Ghost. This companionship is unarguably something that we all need.
One of the things I love most about my mom, I didn't realize until I was much older. I was a normal angsty teen that would often get into arguments with my mother. I was a very serious child, much much more serious than I am now. My mom was what I would call "random" and I did not appreciate it. I thought she needed to be serious because she was the mom. However, this quality of "random" I have actually come to redefine as spontaneous, interesting and happy. Her thrill of life, zest for adventure and imagination are now things that I greatly appreciate and have tried to cultivate within myself when I have had the time. Another thing about my mom is that she has always been very "fashion-forward" having had training in cosmetology and was an aspiring "fashionista" as a young adult. However, I have never seen her push the limits of modesty and good taste. My mom was well-dressed but her tastes and choices were always appropriately set within the guidelines of virtue. This is especially important to me today as clothing choices often are widely outside of this boundary. I also grew up in a home without swearing, and few immoral or bad movies and if a poor movie choice did slip in, it was often followed by correctional words on how it was a poor choice. As I look back on how my mom approached media and other daily choices, sometimes I could see the thought process taking place. Watching her choose virtue over vice was a powerful influence for how I make those decisions today.
I'm thankful for my mother's example of virtue in always seeking after the good things.
Finally I want to talk about love. I am sure that all of us know that our mothers always had a tremendous amount of love for us. They take the time to explain things, fight our causes, and give correction when needed. It can definitely be said that I was nurtured in a household of love. What a household of love looks like to me is a lot of time, of teaching siblings to look after each other, and of learning to talk things through. The attitudes I have about relationships, argument, resolution, conversation and commitment in all their various forms in trial or times of calm were forged in a household of love. The ideas behind working through differences is something for which I will be eternally grateful as I watched two "strong personality" parents have six distinctly "strong personality" children who realize now more than ever our commitments to each other are stronger than our sometimes frequent clashes in perspective or desires. This household of love gave me the courage to pursue my interests and take more risks. It encouraged me to try new things because even if I failed I was still valued more than anything I could imagine. We were all loved, and that tone was set by my mother.
This quality is strongly exhibited in not only mothers, but righteous women everywhere. I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge the love that I have felt, as well as many others here, from the bishopric's wives. In a hard time, transitioning to graduate school being far away from home I cannot count the number of prayers offered in my behalf not to mention the number of meals, fresh baked bread and cookies, advice, shoulders cried on, and warm greetings given. It is remarkable to me, the love, devotion and concern that goes into the looking after of the men and women in this ward from our wonderful bishopric's wives. The attention to detail always brings strong feelings of emotion when I realize their love for me, and I know that many of us feel the same way and have felt that powerful loving influence for us in our lives.
We go farther, we live better, we take more risks when we know we are loved.
I am so grateful for the strength, virtue and love exemplified by the women in my life. I know that cultivating these divine qualities would not be possible were it not for their testimony in this gospel. Our ability to cultivate these qualities are also not possible without our continued devotion and worship of our Heavenly Father and through the atonement of His Son Jesus Christ.
I sometimes stop and think about how much of who I am and who I've become is influenced by my family, and since it's mother's day, I'll focus on the influence of my mom and other "mothers" in my life.
In the talk "LDS women are incredible" Elder Cook said "God placed within women divine qualities of strength, virtue, love and the willingness to sacrifice to raise future generations of his spirit children." Even if we don't feel like we have these qualities now, I think we can rest assured that these qualities can be cultivated within all of us. I also think that all of us need those attributes in our lives. Today I'm going to focus on a few of these.
The first is strength. I was recently talking to a friend who had moved to a new ward and was finding it difficult to find good friends and people she was connecting to. I related to my friend a story about my mom. She was always very busy and didn't have time to go to things like enrichment or book groups, having very little time for herself she found it really difficult to find friends in the wards that she was in. It says a lot about her strength in the gospel as she kept going to church, kept being faithful even when feeling a sense of isolation and loneliness. It's a hard thing to do, to reach outside of yourself even in times when you feel like you need to be reached. Another example of this kind of strength comes from a woman in the ward who reached out to me when I first moved here. I remember feeling nervous, and overwhelmed. But there this woman was, offering me rides to church, inviting me to dinner parties, looking out for me when I needed it most. At this time in our lives, we may not think about improving these abilities, but we can do so as we strengthen each other and keep that strength within ourselves.
In the scriptures it reads "Wherefore be faithful...succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees."
We are all needed to do these things, for each other, today. We strengthen this divine quality in ourselves when we put it into practice.
Other instances when this faith is required is when we are faced with imperfections in family life. I'm sure we've all had experiences of a beloved family member falling to illness, or passing away, or of a family member forgetting or failing to choose the right. I know that when these experiences have happened in my life, my mom was often a pillar of strength. I'm not saying that she fully embraced these challenges, but with hope and optimism it is from her that I learned that nothing is too hard, no trial too overwhelming that couldn't be addressed with these six words:
"Everything is going to be ok."
This is what I still live by since the alternative doesn't make any sense to me. That is the strength of a righteous mother to instill in her children that there is a divine plan for us and that all things will work together for our good. To have watched my mom live by that, gives me courage to do the same.
Speaking about this happy optimistic spirit of my mom leads me to touch on the divine quality of virtue.
Virtue is seeking after the good things, the things that will bring us joy. Being virtuous makes us more qualified to receive the companionship of the Holy Ghost. This companionship is unarguably something that we all need.
One of the things I love most about my mom, I didn't realize until I was much older. I was a normal angsty teen that would often get into arguments with my mother. I was a very serious child, much much more serious than I am now. My mom was what I would call "random" and I did not appreciate it. I thought she needed to be serious because she was the mom. However, this quality of "random" I have actually come to redefine as spontaneous, interesting and happy. Her thrill of life, zest for adventure and imagination are now things that I greatly appreciate and have tried to cultivate within myself when I have had the time. Another thing about my mom is that she has always been very "fashion-forward" having had training in cosmetology and was an aspiring "fashionista" as a young adult. However, I have never seen her push the limits of modesty and good taste. My mom was well-dressed but her tastes and choices were always appropriately set within the guidelines of virtue. This is especially important to me today as clothing choices often are widely outside of this boundary. I also grew up in a home without swearing, and few immoral or bad movies and if a poor movie choice did slip in, it was often followed by correctional words on how it was a poor choice. As I look back on how my mom approached media and other daily choices, sometimes I could see the thought process taking place. Watching her choose virtue over vice was a powerful influence for how I make those decisions today.
I'm thankful for my mother's example of virtue in always seeking after the good things.
Finally I want to talk about love. I am sure that all of us know that our mothers always had a tremendous amount of love for us. They take the time to explain things, fight our causes, and give correction when needed. It can definitely be said that I was nurtured in a household of love. What a household of love looks like to me is a lot of time, of teaching siblings to look after each other, and of learning to talk things through. The attitudes I have about relationships, argument, resolution, conversation and commitment in all their various forms in trial or times of calm were forged in a household of love. The ideas behind working through differences is something for which I will be eternally grateful as I watched two "strong personality" parents have six distinctly "strong personality" children who realize now more than ever our commitments to each other are stronger than our sometimes frequent clashes in perspective or desires. This household of love gave me the courage to pursue my interests and take more risks. It encouraged me to try new things because even if I failed I was still valued more than anything I could imagine. We were all loved, and that tone was set by my mother.
This quality is strongly exhibited in not only mothers, but righteous women everywhere. I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge the love that I have felt, as well as many others here, from the bishopric's wives. In a hard time, transitioning to graduate school being far away from home I cannot count the number of prayers offered in my behalf not to mention the number of meals, fresh baked bread and cookies, advice, shoulders cried on, and warm greetings given. It is remarkable to me, the love, devotion and concern that goes into the looking after of the men and women in this ward from our wonderful bishopric's wives. The attention to detail always brings strong feelings of emotion when I realize their love for me, and I know that many of us feel the same way and have felt that powerful loving influence for us in our lives.
We go farther, we live better, we take more risks when we know we are loved.
I am so grateful for the strength, virtue and love exemplified by the women in my life. I know that cultivating these divine qualities would not be possible were it not for their testimony in this gospel. Our ability to cultivate these qualities are also not possible without our continued devotion and worship of our Heavenly Father and through the atonement of His Son Jesus Christ.
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